I just spent 30 minutes looking at the Wedding photos of an old friend.
She is the same age as me, same tom boy approach and yet she has found love and has got married.
WHEN THE HELL IS IT MY TURN??????
I know it is bad to be jealous right now and I am full of happiness for her. I just want to know when it is time for me???
Seven days in of eating high processed foods and two left to go.
I can not believe I used to eat this food and in these quantities. No wonder I was consistently ill. This week’s ailments run from nausea, headaches, bloating, stomach cramps and fatigue. I’m a fat bloated grumpy bitch.
I am eating these foods for several reasons:
1) I am entering a Weight Loss competition on Monday and the possibility of having some water weigh means I could drop more weight.
2) I am struggling with cravings and having too many off plan days. I am hoping flooding my body with the foods I was craving will cause my body to reject them.
3) I have had an emotional time recently wanted to not think about food or what is going in my mouth.
It’s like a a smorgasbord board of every food I have avoided over the last year. Pizza, Chips, Lollies, Chinese, Pasta, Popcorn, Ice Cream, Fish and Chips, Soda, Burgers & Krispy Kreme donuts.
My body is already rejecting these foods and I could only stomach one meal today. I feel sick at the thought of more “junk” and my body is dying for decent nutrients.
I hope I can make it another two days.
I have been on a “Diet” for almost 9 months now and I am starting to get impatient.
If I hear “but you have come so far”, “look at the changes in your body” & “you have lost 70lbs” one more time I might have have to drink a crate of wine and take a bath in melted Snickers. I am not going to lie, I WANT TO BE SKINNY NOW!!!!
Why does it have to take so long, why does my body not want to break down the fat faster??
I can make all the healthy choices I want, exercise 12 hours a day and my body still won’t release that fat fast enough for me.
Why can I control it? I hate not being in control, setting the pace and the direction.
Can’t they just create an instant skinny pill, a special fat melting machine. Anything so for the first time ever I will know what it is like to be slim.
BAH SKINNYBUG!!~!!!#@@#@
SUNDAY 14th June
FOOD:
Fried Egg (85) on Light Rye (84)
String Cheese (59) LOVE LOVE LOVE these!! Babybel Cheese Wheel (51)
Satay Veggie Burger (180) Sliced Tomato (10) Capsicum (16) Chilli & Lime Tzatziki (26)
Green & Blacks Milk (204)
Apple (47) & Banana (54) slices with Wild Berry Yogurt (100) and Almonds (85)
Green & Blacks Milk (204) Cab Sav (110)
TOTAL: 1383
WATER: 2lts - WOO HOO, glowing skin here I come.
EXERCISE: 20 minutes high intensity weights training (180) Treadmill (100) Bicycle (50)
TOTAL CALORIES minus exercise: 1053
COMMENTS: Lots of Chocolate with fruit and veg in between. Finally back to working out on my own, felt strange as it has been a few weeks however I am focused on a big loss this week. Why can’t weekends be 3 days long……
HAPPY: The way my body looks in the mirror when weights training (I barely recongise myself), letting chocolate melt on my tongue, making budget 2 weeks in a row.
SATURDAY 13th June
FOOD:
Scramble Chilli Egg (85) on Rye Toast (84)
Fruit Pole (65)
Milky Tea with 2 Sugars (60)
Apple & Banana Fruit Salad (101) Wild Berry Yogurt (100) Almonds (85)
Spicy Corn Salmon Pasta - Chilli Lime Salmon (101), Chilli & Lime Tzatziki (51), Corn (54) Wholemeal Pasta (232)
3 glasses of Cab Sav (330)
2 pieces of 85% Chocolate
TOTAL Calories - 1454
WATER: 1/2 Litre - FAIL
EXERCISE: None except cleaning my kitchen and bathroom like a mad woman!
COMMENTS: Weigh in wasn’t fabulous and I appreciated that I barely exercised however there were days which I blew my calorie intake (Social Eating). My decision making wasn’t smart. Now the best choice isn’t always fruit and veggies after all a girls got to have her Chocolate and Wine!!! All thinks considered though I would like to ensure I get a larger fruit and veg intake, if only for the health of my hair, skin and nails. No sense in being skinny if I am not beautiful!!
HAPPY: Having the cleanest Kitchen and Bathroom in all of melbourne, Watching Sweet Home Alabama and drinking smooth red wine, Rosewater and Ivy scented soy candles.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t been out of pj’s in 4 days.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t lost any “decent” weight in months.
Maybe it’s because my belly is wobbly again.
Maybe it’s because Ian has reverted back to his usual selfish self.
BUT IT’S TIME TO SHAKE THINGS UP!!
Starting with the easiest thing to control - What goes in my mouth.
Weight Watchers Membership has been cancelled (yay to $60 per month saving) and weekly goals will be set to implement small changes!
SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE IT!!
All is busy right now….
Swine Flu
Apartment Fire
Collapsing Brother
Not ready to let it out yet.
Maybe soon.
Sorry
Throughout my weight loss journey I have been taught not to have a emotional connection with food. I hear stories of people using food to comfort them, binging to feel better. So I have tried to turn by back on a great friend. MISTAKE.
Food is not evil; it does not make me fat.
Food is comfort, but it is also love, highs and sexy.
I spend an hour today…. chopping, slicing, stirring and tasting. The result - an amazing spicy traditional country stew. Served with crusty French bread and a crisp South Australian Sav Blanc.
The first bite hits my tongue and my mouth in enveloped in an amazing hot and steamy journey. I am hooked.
There is nothing wrong with this feeling. It should be celebrated, not treated like a guilty pleasure.
Food is sexy. Who doesn’t enjoy coffee? It is the ultimate tease. You can smell it first. It slowly invades your nostrils, telling you not so subtly that it is there and available to you. The first sip is fully of creamy velvet froth and a cheeky bite of bitterness.
WHO DOESN”T LOVE THIS!!!
